Mail theft

Three days back I noticed an occupied Honda sitting in a parking lot with the engine running.  To the casual observer, no big deal.  Of course it was 4am, and is was a Honda, so I decided to check it out.  It’s a big long story, but in the end I arrested the two for possession of Methamphetamine, possession of burglary tools *  (about 100 house and car keys, pry bars, picks, files, etc), stolen mail, and laptop computers, two guns, and forged state ID cards. 

The ID cards were great quality.  Most cops couldn’t figure out which ones were fake, and which ones were real.  The whole arrest took me 9 hours.  Whew!  Why so long?  The on scene interview and eventual arrest burned through the first hour.  At the precinct it took several hours to go through nearly 200 pieces of mail, and interview the subjects a second time. 

These jerks were stealing Christmas mail, grabbing all the checks from grandparents to grandchildren, and then making fake ID’s, in the names of the little ones, so that they could cash the checks!  GRRRRR!!!!  I honestly would have no issue with making these two go away.  The world would be a better place without them. 

I was asked, “How much time do you think they will get in jail?” and I have to admit that I am skeptical about it.  I probably spent more time on the arrest, investigation, and paperwork, than they will get behind bars.  The main suspect had 8 prior convictions for burglary (* see above).   I guess the system has failed? 

J

Hello…?

I recently moved from working downtown, to the more residential area, up in the North end of the city.  I was burned out on working the crackheads and hookers, and wanted to talk to “normal” people.  Now I’m beginning to rethink my decision.  It’s so frustrating dealing with stupidity.  A druggie, or a hooker, you pretty much expect them to be running on stupid 24 hours a day.

I can’t figure out the ones who have years of college, or tons of money, or both.  You’d think that they would have made it to their position in life by making intelligent choices.  NOT!  I think they just tend to be VERY lucky, or they were just born with the silver spoon in their mouth. 

Case in point.  I respond to a house, in the rich part of town, to take a stolen auto report.  It takes me a few minutes to find the correct house, because three houses in a row have no address posted!  I walk up to the door and contact the husband, who reports leaving the keys in the ignition, so the vehicle could warm up. 

Ok, it’s cold.  I can appreciate the motivation behind warming up a car, but hello?  This guy didn’t lock the doors, which doesn’t matter, but in the cold weather the warming cars spit out huge plumes of exhaust.  It’s like a marker for the auto thieves, who cruise the neighborhoods.  See smoke?  There’s the next stolen car.

This guy got to watch the car get taken.  Another car…HONDA!  Pulled alongside and a kid jumped in, and drove off.  Oh yeah…They stole another HONDA!  See previous blog entries to hear my thoughts on Honda ownership.

I stated that it didn’t matter if the doors were locked, because bad guys really don’t give a rip if they have to cause damage, to get into the car that has keys in the ignition, that isn’t theirs to begin with!!!  Yes!  They will smash a friggin window.  Locking the doors, while warming up the car, does not prevent theft!  

The kicker, with the stolen auto report, was the response given by the wealthy UW Graduate, when I asked, “Anything of value inside the car?”  After a slight hesitation the wife asked, “You didn’t leave the golf clubs I gave you inside the trunk did you?!”  Yes.  He did leave the $3,000 Callaway’s inside the trunk. 

John Kerry can say what he wants about uneducated people serving in the military.  I’d take an Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine soldier’s common sense over any Harvard/Yale grad! 

J

Help the Police help you!

I was telling some people, just last night, how the police generally only come in contact with evil people, or the stupid.  We don’t have much contact with good citizens. 

This 911 caller tells the dispatcher that there are two teens messing around with a motorcycle, in his backyard, and that the ignition is damaged/missing.  Myself and two other units roll that way and are given great updates by the caller, via dispatch.  The teens have now grabbed a gas can, from a silver car, and are now putting gas into the motorcycle.

Myself and the two other units arrive in the area, as the updates continue to come in, and we’re all thinking, “Sweet!  We’re going to catch some auto thieves!”  Now the sad part of the story.  We couldn’t find the 911 caller’s house!  We’re literally driving in circles and then we’re told, via dispatch, “Ok, the teens have gotten into the silver car and drove off W/B on NW 52^nd Street.” 

I broadcast, “I am on 52^nd!  Where is this guy?!”  The dispatcher tells us that he just saw a marked police car drive by for the third time.  We all stop and I broadcast, “Radio.  Can you please have him walk up to the police car.”  This guy comes walking out between two houses, half a block from where his street address puts him.  The street simply does not cross through the block he lives in.  His house is in the middle of a block with no apparent access!

Turns out it’s a house built on the back property of another with a gravel easement (alley) for access!  The gravel easement looks like the driveway to the house, which borders the street!  ARG!!!  I confront the caller and say, “It’s a good thing your wife isn’t being attacked right now, because we’d still be looking for this gravel driveway!” 

The caller says, “Yeah, my house was robbed a few weeks back and you guys had trouble finding it then too.”  HELLO?  ANYONE HOME?  Dude?!  Where’s your brain???  If we couldn’t find it then, what made him think we’d find it now?  My partner asked, “Do you tell the pizza delivery guy how to get to your house?” and the caller says, “Uhhh…Yes.  I never thought of that.” 

So we hurt him real bad, called for medics, and told him, “Maybe they’ll find you before you bleed out.”

You can’t fix stupid.

J